Chorizo con Huevo Bolillos

Yeah, I know the name of my blog is PattiCakes.
But sometimes I like to eat real food.
Really greasy, spicy, heartburn-inducing food…for breakfast.
And by breakfast, I mean like, no earlier than noon.
And by greasy I mean like, Chorizo & egg stuffed bolillos.
Don’t judge me.
Now listen.
I know this is L.A. & I should be working out or eating a piece of lettuce with a deep look of emaciation in my eyes, but forget that.
I’M HUNGRY.
I think Bart Simpson put it best when he said, “You don’t win friends with salad“.
So here it is.
My dirty little breakfast secret.
But honestly, aren’t those really the best kind of secrets to have??
Let me give you the low down on this meal. It’s forgiving and the perfect thing for poor students on a budget. You can add or delete any ingredients that you want.
For instance, I would usually use white onion but since I hadn’t gone to the market in weeks, I used green onion because, well, frankly, it was all I had.
I also like jalapenos.
In everything.
Y’know, I’m no doctor, but that is probably the reason why my esophagus is on fire & I pop Tums like candy.
I’m SO not an egg person but mix it with other foods, like (surprise) jalapenos & spicy meat & BAM!
I’m a fan of huevos
Um…I won’t go there, but yeah….
Now THIS is where I draw the line at substitutions.
There is nothing like a good Mexican cheese when making this meal.
This is queso fresco.
I got it at the 99 cent store, so no excuses people.
Life is too short to eat crap cheese.
The sizzle chorizo makes in the pan is like angels singing…big fatty angels with high cholesterol.
Ahhh….music to my ears.
I had to put this picture on here because I’ve never seen an avocado with such a monster pit in it.
What kind of genetic mutation had to happen for this monster to develop?
You may be asking, “Should you be eating this”?
Um, did I mention I’m poor?
I ate the hell out of this monster…and that little mutant was GOOD.
Tear a hole in the bolillo just big enough to make a “pocket” and you are ready to fill it!
Line the inside of the bolillo with avocado and cheese. It’s not a pretty sight…but who cares?
We all know you aren’t going to turn down goodness because it’s messy.
Now stuff that ugly little sucker with your egg/chorizo mixture, pour some salsa on it, & plan on attending church on Sunday because you about to eat sin in a bun.
Where’s the recipe you may ask?
Well, I don’t know.
It lives somewhere in my head between the recipe for fudge and the combination to my middle school locker.
Random.
So I’m going to give you the recipe the way it was given to me.
Latino style.
We don’t use cups and teaspoons.
We measure things in relation to the package it comes in, cook it until it smells done, and taste it to know how much more salt to add.
It’s how we roll.
I’ll try my best to provide measurements where possible, but really, you can’t mess this up.
 
Chorizo con Huevo Bolillos

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook Time: 10 minutes

Serving Size: 3-4 servings

Chorizo con Huevo Bolillos

Ingredients

  • 3 eggs, beaten
  • pinch of salt
  • pinch of pepper
  • pinch of paprika
  • 1/2 a 12 oz tube of pork chorizo
  • 2 large scallions, chopped (you can use any kind of onion here, about 1/4 cup)
  • 1 large jalapeno, chopped
  • 1 avocado sliced
  • 1 package (4 oz) of queso fresco, cotija cheese, or any salty, crumbly Mexican cheese.
  • 3 bolillos

Instructions

  1. Beat 3 large eggs in a bowl using a whisk or fork. Add salt, pepper, and paprika. Set aside.
  2. Heat a large skillet over medium high heat. Add chorizo and cook about 5 minutes.
  3. Add jalapeno and onions and continue cooking until vegetables are softened.
  4. Lower heat to medium and add eggs. Quickly mix eggs into chorizo mixture & continue cooking until eggs are cooked through.
  5. Using your hands or a serrated knife, cut a opening in the center of the side of the bolillo. Using your hands make a "pocket" inside the roll so you can "stuff" the bolillo. (see photo above)
  6. Line the inside of the bolillo with avocado and cheese, pressing them into the sides of the pocket leaving room for the filling.
  7. Spoon in the chorizo/egg mixture and don't be stingy! Fill 'er up!
  8. Add salsa, more cheese, or any topping of your choice.
  9. Eat it already!!
https://patriciaspatticakes.com/2011/06/chorizo-con-huevo-bolillos-html/

Red Velvet Mini Cupcakes with Smooth Cream Cheese Frosting

Red Velvet seems to be all the rage these days.
I like them because they are incognito chocolate cakes.
Sneaky little goodies.
That being said: I’ve got a bone to pick with these cupcakes.
I don’t really make mini cupcakes because, well, I’m not really sure what to do with them.
I’m unsure how to frost them.  
Their baking time makes me nervous.  
They give me the stink eye when I transport them across town and threaten me with tipping over every time I make a turn.
Mini cupcakes have attitude and I don’t appreciate it.  
But those little things are so darn cute…and I give in and they win.
Every. Time.
*Sigh*So now that I have admitted defeat, I can start talking about more important things.

For instance, the fact that I may just be in love with my new camera. 
Waaaay better than a camera phone!!
I think this works…but I need more… 
Ahhh…there ya go…now that’s what I’m talking about…
 Wait, wait right there. What’s this?? Oh. It’s awesome. That’s what. 
Y’know. No big whoop.
FYI 
In My Kitchen:
 
Ha Ha. Enjoy!!

Red Velvet Mini Cupcakes with Smooth Cream Cheese Frosting

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook Time: 10 minutes

Total Time: 30 minutes

Yield: 12 standard cupcakes or 24 mini cupcakes

Red Velvet Mini Cupcakes with Smooth Cream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients

    Cupcake Ingredients:
  • 1 1/4 c. all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 c. baker's sugar (superfine)
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/4 c. unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1/4 c. vegetable oil
  • 1 1/2 c. buttermilk, room temperature
  • 1 large egg, room temperature
  • 1 Tbsp. red food coloring (or more depending on how deep red you like your cake)
  • 1/2 tsp white distilled vinegar
  • 1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
  • Cream Cheese Frosting Ingredients:
  • 4 oz unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 4 oz cream cheese, room temperature
  • 2 c. powdered sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 350 F.
  2. In a bowl, sift together cocoa powder, flour, sugar, salt, and baking soda.
  3. In another bowl (or mixing bowl of standing mixer), gently beat together egg, buttermilk, oil, vinegar, food coloring, and vanilla using a paddle attachment or hand mixer.
  4. Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet and mix until smooth and blended well. Be careful to not over mix.
  5. Divide batter evenly among cupcake tins (about 2/3 full) and bake for about 8-10 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
  6. Remove from oven and cool on a rack before frosting.
  7. To prepare frosting, in a mixing bowl (with paddle attachment or using a hand mixer), beat together butter and cream cheese until well combined.
  8. With the mixer on low speed, add the powdered sugar a cup at a time until smooth and creamy.
  9. Beat in the vanilla extract.
https://patriciaspatticakes.com/2011/06/red-velvet-mini-cupcakes-with-smooth-cream-cheese-frosting-html/

Vanilla Cupcakes topped with Champagne Buttercream Frosting and Dipped Chocolate Strawberries

I know I have been talking up these boozy cupcakes, so now I’m here to back it up with some photographic evidence.
 
My very first PAID order!!
I feel like I’m too legit.
Too legit to quit.
Hey Hey.
You know, I can do the Hammer Dance pretty gosh darn well. Thought you’d like to know.


Anyways, back to the matter at hand…
These cupcakes were both a tremendous fail and a wonderfully awesome surprise.
This is how it started out…pretty regular baking adventure…except for the empty bottle of wine and the Chimichurri I have fermenting in the background 🙂
And that’s when things started to go sooooo wrong!

I put too much booze in the frosting. The frosting got watery.
I tried to wrap a bow around the cupcakes.  The bow fell off.
I tried to put them in an extra cupcake wrapper to make them look prettier.  They didn’t fit in the box.
I tried to pipe a rose with the buttercream.  The rose fell over due to the excess booze.
My boyfriend tried to console me because they just weren’t what I had envisioned in my mind. I used my favorite cuss word as a verb.

I had all but given up….but why give up when you can kick butt?

So I added more sugar, refrigerated my frosting, shut the heck up and stopped complaining, piped some awesome swirls, & topped it all off with some exceptionally beautiful strawberries in Ghiradelli milk & white vanilla bean chocolate.

  
Poof.
The final product.
 
 

So after apologizing for my verbage, I thanked my right hand man and handed over the goods to the happy customer.

If anything, this has taught me to:
1) Not wait until the last moment.
2) Improvise. Not complain.
3) Not be a jerk to the ones who support me.

Ah, life lessons.

I hate you.
You are usually right.

Wanna make your own boozy cupcakes?? Who doesn’t?!

Vanilla Cupcakes topped with Champagne Buttercream Frosting and Dipped Chocolate Strawberries

Prep Time: 25 minutes

Cook Time: 20 minutes

Total Time: 45 minutes

Yield: 12 standard cupcakes or 24 mini cupcakes

Vanilla Cupcakes topped with Champagne Buttercream Frosting and Dipped Chocolate Strawberries

Ingredients

    Vanilla Cupcakes
  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup extra fine baker's sugar
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 stick (8 Tbsp) unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/2 cup sour cream
  • 1 egg, room temperature
  • 2 egg yolks, room temperature
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • Champagne Buttercream Frosting
  • 3 1/2 cups powdered sugar
  • 1 cup butter, room temperature
  • 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 3 tablespoons champagne or sparkling sweet wine

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
  2. Line muffin tin with liners (foil, paper, parchment).
  3. Sift together flour, sugar, baking powder, & salt.
  4. Using a standing mixer w/ paddle attachment beat butter, sour cream, whole egg and yolks, & vanilla at medium speed until smooth. Do not beat too long or cake will be tough
  5. Fill cups to 1/2 full, 2/3 if you would like larger rounded cupcakes.
  6. Bake approximately 20-22 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center of the cupcake comes out clean.
  7. Remove cupcakes and cool on a wire rack. Cupcakes should be completely cool (room temperature) before frosting.
  8. To make frosting, beat together sugar and butter on low until blended using either a hand mixer or standing mixer with a paddle attachment. Increase to medium speed for another 2 minutes.
  9. Add vanilla and champagne or sparkling wine until well blended, about 1 minute.
https://patriciaspatticakes.com/2011/06/vanilla-cupcakes-topped-with-champagne-buttercream-frosting-and-dipped-chocolate-strawberries-html/

Dirty Thirty, Cheap Booze, and Life Lessons. Oh My.

One day away from 30. 
And I agree that life is too short for PBR.  Just sayin’…

 



I’m 30. Should I feel…different? 
I guess I would feel different had I not been saying I was 30 for the last 3 years but I like to round things off. It makes me happy when things are even.


People keep asking me what I’m doing for my birthday. Well, I’m writing this here blog and reflecting, that’s what…and I’m baking some boozy cupcakes for myself. 


Don’t judge. 


Reflecting + booze cake has lead me to think back and take stock of some of the more important (and unimportant) things I’ve learned in the last decade. 
Since I’m the sharing type, you get to partake in the festivities. Enjoy 🙂

  • Family is always there. Even when you think they aren’t, there they are. Ready to get all up in your business and tell you things you don’t want to hear. It’s what they do.  
  • Friends come and go. It’s natural. People are busy and you really aren’t unimportant, you are well, just not at the top of their list. And that’s o.k.  If you have an issue with this, YOUR list probably needs to be a lot longer…just sayin’…
  • It’s perfectly fine to cry for no reason. I cry at puppies on youtube and I own it. 
  • Swear. A LOT.  It helps you relax. My favorite word starts with F. I use it as an adjective, noun, and verb. It really is quite handy when you have nothing left to say.
  • Dress up. For no reason.  Get all spiffy and go outside or just sit on your couch and eat ice cream with a friend and laugh so hard, you don’t even make noises. You just gasp for air and turn red. Those are the best laughs 🙂 
  • You can’t make anyone do anything they don’t want to. People don’t change until they decide to do so.  It’s a losing battle and a HUMONGOUS waste of time. I wasted my early 20’s on it. Trust me, it sucked.
  • Children are kind of annoying. They drool on themselves, cry and scream for no good reason, ask for stuff when they don’t have jobs, and constantly want to eat things off the ground….but then they go and &  give you some terrible painting they did of you where your nose is on your forehead and those little bastards win you over every time.
  • If you want unconditional love, go see your mom. She HAS to love you. I don’t.
  • Hate someone.  Allow yourself to be hated.  Then get over it. Then allow yourself to forgive and be forgiven. It’s a wonderful feeling.
  • Try new foods. Gross ones, smelly ones, and just plain nasty ones. Things that made you cringe 5 or 10 years ago may actually be pretty damn tasty now.  Example: tripe. Yes. Intestines. I will chew on your duodenum and I don’t care who knows it.
  • Decide what you want and GO GET IT.  No one likes a wishy-washy-pipe-dreamer. It’s just annoying. Help me, help you….
  • Fail. Miserably. At anything. More than once.  It builds character and proves to you that nothing can break you so bad that you can’t recover from it.
  • And finally…surround yourself with good and good will come. I don’t know why this is true, but it seems to work. I’ve surrounded myself with good people, good food, good family, and good riddances.  
 
So far. 
So good.



Happy Dirty Thirty to me & all my friends this year.
Let’s do this.


Peace, Love, and CupCake Grease,
Patti

Stiff Vanilla Buttercream

So it’s about time I posted some pictures on here so I got down to some business. I turned off my phone, turned up the music, opened the window and, what the…

Wait just a minute…there is something wonderful going on here…the air is warm, the bees are buzzing… OMG, it’s summer. When did that happen?

Before you know it, a little voice in my head said:

Must. Go. Running. Shorts. Are. Unforgiving…

After telling said voice to gently shut it up, I weighed the costs and the benefits of exercise.

Now, I could go around and do squats all day or I could put on my ugly baking shirt (the one I loosely call “my apron” because I’m too cheap to actually go buy an apron) & bake something for your visual enjoyment.

Guess what. You guys won…like…by a landslide.

So here you go!!
Yellow Cake Buttercream Hydrangea CupCakes
 
Call me crazy (or just lame) but there is something absolutely and completely calming and wonderful about watching cake go from this:
 
 …and this….
…to this…
 
 
…and THIS!!!
 
Sorry, I got excited with the bolding and exclamation points. I just thouroughly enjoyed making these cakes.
I have to credit both Martha Stewart with the recipe for the yellow cake (with a few of my own modifications) & Glorious Treats with the decorating idea & directions!   I also modified my usual recipe for buttercream frosting because I needed something that would hold it’s shape at room temperature.  This kind of buttercream is also called “crusting” buttercream. I’ll let Martha tell you about the cake, but the frosting, oh the frosting!!!!
 
It’s Business Time

Prep Time: 15 minutes

Yield: Enough Frosting for 12 standard cupcakes

It’s Business Time

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup solid vegetable shortening
  • 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, room temperature
  • 1 tsp. vanilla extract
  • 3 cups sifted confectioners' sugar

Instructions

  1. In large bowl, cream shortening and butter with paddle attachment or regular hand mixer. Add vanilla.
  2. Gradually add sugar, a little at a time while mixing on medium speed. Make sure to scrape down sides and bottom of mixer to ensure all ingredients are incorporated well.
  3. Beat on medium speed until frosting is light and fluffy.
  4. To add color to frosting, use a toothpick dipped in gel food coloring to gradually add color so as not to water down or "over color" the frosting.
https://patriciaspatticakes.com/2011/05/its-business-time-html/