Whiskey Sours …Why Not?!

It’s been a busy, busy couple of weeks.
 
Family visits, fighting “the man” to get my business paperwork pushed through, a near death brush with a rouge mixer paddle, wedding planning, menu development, stepping up my workout schedule due to an unfortunate run in with my bedroom mirror while wearing last years’ ill-fitting shorts 
& thinking about writing a new blog post…
 
Um, yeah…
This blog is going to be about whiskey.
Strong, delicious whiskey.
Yeah, I know it’s Monday….
Don’t judge.
 
Now don’t go signing me up for any AA meetings just yet.
I’m just not your typical “fruity drink” kinda gal.
I’ll take a smooth whiskey on the rocks over anything with an umbrella any day.
I hate to admit it, but sugary drinks started to give me headaches 
& heartburn sometime after I hit 26.
I know, I know.  I’m a grumpy ol’ bitty with a sensitive GI tract.
But I accept this about myself & embrace it.
Gone are the days of sticky Midori Sours, Washington Apples,
& the mystical, magical concoction that is a Purple Hooter shooter. 
(Yes, it’s a thing.  Google it.)
 
But every once in a while, a girl likes to feel a little fancy.
So I took my precious whiskey on the rocks & gave it a deliciously simple yet sophisticated upgrade.
I’m not saying this is now my go-to drink, I’m just saying it’s been a long week, Mondays are my weekend, & I could really use some fancy so why the heck not??

Whiskey Sours
This post is going to be short & to the point.
Whiskey, sugar, lemon juice, club soda, ice & a maraschino cherry to step up the fancy.
That’s it.

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Buttery Homemade Soft Pretzels

Babysitting hasn’t always been my strong suit.
I don’t know what to do with kids.
They blink at me…
They blink back…
I say, “Hey, do you like vampires?”.
They say, “Yeah”.
I put on the movie ‘Blade’.
They have nightmares.
Best. Babysitter. Ever.So when my sister left my nephew with me for the week, I decided to go another route.
“Hey, do you like pretzels?”.
“Yeah”.
“Cool.  Let’s make some, ok?”.
“Whatever”.
Pfffftt, pre-teens…
But once we were in the kitchen & baking, all that Justin-Beiber-too-cool-hipster-kid attitude flew right out the window & my sweet little nephew was covered in flour & dough, smiling ear-to-ear.
Like I said:
Best. Babysitter. Ever.So grab a kid (preferably one from your own family otherwise that’s just weird…or a felony…)
& bake some memories & delicious pretzels!
Enjoy!
Before we get to the recipe, let me share a couple of things we learned about pretzels…
(Because you totally care, right? I thought so.)
  1. You must BOIL pretzels in water & baking soda!  This step should NOT be skipped.  It is this step that makes the inside of the pretzel “puff” giving it its signature chewiness.  The baking soda makes the boiling water an alkali (aka basic) solution which also helps to develop a soft pretzel’s signature brown crust & distinctive aroma.  Skip this step & you are going to end up with a pale, hard breadstick.  Ew.
  2. Put an egg yolk wash on your pretzel before you put it in the oven to bake.  It helps make it look extra golden brown & almost too pretty to eat…almost….
  3. Left over pretzels make the BEST breakfast sandwiches.  I am now a firm believer that all things should be served on soft pretzels.  EVERYTHING.

Enough of that…Let’s bake! (more…)

Margarita-Lime CupCakes

Feliz Drink-o de Mayo!
I know, I know.
It’s Cinco de Mayo, the day when Mexico’s army was victorious over French forces in the
Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862 (I got mad history skills, I know.)
But honestly, very few actually celebrate this day in honor of this battle.
Actually, most think it’s Mexican Independence Day…which it isn’t (that’s in September).
That being said, this day has been come to beknown in the United States as a day to celebrate all things Mexican!  Whether it’s the food, the music or of course the tequila, people love themselves a good Drink-o de Mayo.
A lot of people have come to know Cinco de Mayo as a signal to the beginning of summer & a day to gather with friends & family.  The heart of Latin culture is family & close friends so if that’s not a good alternative reason to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, I don’t know what is.
Today millions will gather to do 3 things: make wonderful memories, eat delicious food, & drink a lot of libations.
So I decided what better way to kill two birds with one stone than to put a whole mess of tequila in a cupcake you can eat?
Win. Win.
Now go make some, share them with your friends & family & start making some great memories!
 
Margarita-Lime CupCakes
These cupcakes are super simple…And super boozy…That’s why my bottle of tequila is super empty 😉
First whisk all the dry ingredients together & set aside.
Next cream together the butter & sugar until it gets nice and fluffy.  While that’s going on, take the zest & juice from 2 limes.  I take the zest first because trying to zest a cut lime is a quick way to a band-aid.
I like using this metal juicer my fiancé’s mama gave me to juice limes.  I didn’t know what I was missing until I got one.  It’s so easy, I’ll never squeeze another lime with my hands again!
 Once the butter is creamed, add one egg at a time, mixing well after each egg.  Then add your juice, zest, vanilla extract & tequila & mix until incorporated.  NOTE: the alcohol & lime juice will cause the batter to look like it’s separating, but once you add the dry ingredients, that will resolve itself.
Add the dry ingredients & buttermilk in 3 parts, alternating between additions of dry ingredients & buttermilk.  Don’t over mix! You will have a hard cupcake & that’s just not right!  Once the cupcakes come out of the oven, let them cool completely.
Once cool, brush the tops with tequila & let that soak in while you make your frosting.
I made mini cupcakes & regular sized cupcakes for those who really wanted to feel, uh…spirited.
I used these pretty & colorful liners to make them really stand out.  They reminded me of a piñata & were so bright & cheery, I just had to share.
Next, I made the frosting which is also super easy…and super boozy…
Whip the butter for about 5 minutes with a whip attachement on your mixer.  Then add sifted powdered sugar gradually to the butter until it’s all incorporated.  You will have to scrape down the bowl because it will start to stick to the sides.  Add lime juice & MORE TEQUILA (I warned you!) & whip until just combined.  It should be thick & smell like heaven.
Pipe the frosting onto the cupcakes & decorate however you like!  I dipped lime wedges in sugar sprinkles & nonpareils & placed them on top as a garnish.
There! You’re done!
Now find your designated driver, gather 11 of your favorite people & let the celebration begin!
Enjoy!
Margarita-Lime CupCakes

Prep Time: 20 hours

Cook Time: 23 minutes

Total Time: 43 minutes

Yield: 12 cupcakes

Margarita-Lime CupCakes

Fun & Booze filled cupcakes perfect for adults-only gatherings!

Ingredients

    Cupcakes
  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter (room temperature)
  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • 2 large eggs (room temperature)
  • zest & juice of 2 limes
  • 2 Tbsp Anejo tequila (I like this tequila because of the flavor but you can use any tequila)
  • 1/2 cup buttermilk
  • 1 Tbsp tequila (for brushing on tops of cupcakes)
  • Tequila-Lime ButterCream Frosting
  • 1 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 2 1/2 to 3 cups confectioners sugar (sifted)
  • 1 1/2 Tbsp lime juice
  • 2 -3 Tbsp tequila

Instructions

  1. Preheat your oven to 325 degrees F. Line your cupcake tin with liners. Set aside.
  2. In a bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, & salt. Set aside.
  3. In an electric mixer, combine the butter & sugar set to medium-high speed using the paddle attachment. Mix until the butter/sugar mix is light & fluffy & well combined.
  4. Add one egg at a time, making sure each one is incorporated before adding the next.
  5. Scrape down the bowl. Add the lime juice, lime zest & tequila. Don't worry if it starts to look like it's curdling or separating, the flour will help bring this all together.
  6. Scrape down the bowl again & reduce the speed to low. Add the dry ingredients & buttermilk in three parts, alternating between additions. Do not over mix!
  7. Divide the batter into the prepared cupcake tins, filling to about 2/3 full to avoid overflowing.
  8. Bake for about 12 minutes for mini cupcakes or 23-25 minutes for standard sized cupcakes.
  9. Check cupcakes once the tops start to turn light golden color & a toothpick comes out clean from the center of the cupcake.
  10. Allow cupcakes to cool completely before brushing the tops of them with the reserved 1 Tbsp of tequila. Allow the cupcakes to soak up the tequila while you prepare the frosting.
  11. To prepare frosting, place butter in a mixer bowl. Using the whisk attachment, whisk butter about 4 to 5 minutes or until fluffy.
  12. Lower the speed of the mixer to medium-low & add the sifted confectioners sugar in small batches. Scrape down the sides of the bowl between additions & continue to whip until all sugar is incorporated with butter.
  13. Add lime juice & tequila to frosting & mix until frosting is thick but fluffy.
  14. Frost cupcakes & decorate with lime zest, sprinkles, or sugar dusted lime wedges!
https://patriciaspatticakes.com/2013/05/margarita-lime-cupcakes-html/

Nayarit-Style Shrimp & Crab Ceviche

This is a recipe.
I swear.
But first a letter to those who didn’t make the cut but deserve an honorable mention:

Dear Ex-Boyfriends,

Thank you for teaching me the following things:

  1. How to kiss with my eyes closed.  Yeah, it used to be a problem…a really creepy, adolescent problem.  It has since been rectified, thank you.
  2. How to recognize a jackass/pushover/train-wreck/mama’s-boy from 500 feet across a room.  I have shared this knowledge with my girlfriends as needed & by the way, they would like to thank you, too.
  3. Don’t snoop & don’t look at emails/webpages left on the screen.  Most of the time you are going to find a lot of sketchy stuff that should really go unfound…um…I’ll leave it at that. Yuck.
  4. You are probably not crazy & I am probably not crazy but the weird combination of you + me sends us flying into whack-a-doodle status & therefore we can not be friends. Like, don’t even follow me on twitter/instagram/facebook.  It’s that deep.
  5. Your grandmothers, mothers, & even fathers are some of the best cooks I have ever met.  I’m glad I paid attention in the kitchen all those years because quite frankly, sitting next to you on the couch while you watched SportCenter re-runs never really sounded all that appealing.
You are probably thinking, “Why the hell did she just over-share?”.
Well, as I was making the Shrimp & Crab Ceviche that I am sharing with you today, my fiancé came into the kitchen & asked, “Where did you learn to make this? You aren’t even Mexican.”

I hesitated….”Um, my ex-boyfriends’ mom taught me…”

He blinked at me & I cringed awaiting his reply…
“Fair enough”, he said & walked away slurping up his ceviche without a second thought.
Wow.
Leave it to a guy to look past anything having to do with an ex as long as it involves a good meal.
As I stood there, chopping away, thankful I had dodged a potentially awkward bullet, I had a flash back to a time long ago, standing there in the kitchen with countless “mama’s” as they shared their knowledge with me.  I couldn’t help but be reminded of all of the valuable life lessons (like the ones above) I learned along the way.  Fortunately, each one of these memories is also accompanied by some really great recipes.  So great, in fact, that I couldn’t possibly feel good about posting any of them without acknowledging them in some way.
So here you go: An excerpt from a chapter in the cookbook which is my life…

& Lord knows I’m nowhere near finished writing it…

Enjoy!

 Nayarit-Style 
Shrimp & Crab Ceviche 

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Polenta Huevos Rancheros

Sooo…I got a new full length mirror.
I just thought I’d share.
You see, I’m not only telling you this because it’s pretty & makes my room look bigger
but that little so-and-so shows me the TRUTH.
The ugly truth.
For instance: it showed me the new fine lines that have developed around my eyes that remind me yes, you ARE in your 30’s, that I religiously forget to zip up my zipper & most importantly it revealed to me that my once lovable muffin top (whom I have affectionately named “Pancha”) had turned into quite the jelly roll.
Stupid truthful mirror…

So faced with all this new found truth, I decided to make some changes:

First: I bought a huge tub of Retinol off Amazon that kiiiinda burns my face…I’m no dermatologist but I don’t think it’s supposed to do that but hey, my eyes look great. 
Second: I check my zipper every 5 minutes (it may or may not look like I’m compulsively touching my no-no’s in public but meh, whatever).
 Third: I decided to get in shape & get healthy!


How am I going about this “getting healthy” business, you ask? (I know you totally did)
Well, I started doing the Insanity workout videos
(It’s day 23 & I still feel like Shaun T. took a bag of nickels to my ass & legs) 
& I’ve changed my old eating habits to new healthier ones!

Only there’s one little problem…
The old me & the new me don’t always agree over our meal choices. 

The new “Insane” me says: 
“Hey, you totally love celery, protein shakes, & grapes with a side of air!”
The old me is like: 
“Who the hell invited this granola-muncher? Girrrrl, you like nachos. Keep it real.”

So we compromise.
And out of that give-&-take relationship the following recipe was born 🙂 
Enjoy!
 
POLENTA HUEVOS RANCHEROS!