Dirty Thirty, Cheap Booze, and Life Lessons. Oh My.

I’m 30. Should I feel…different? 
I guess I would feel different had I not been saying I was 30 for the last 3 years but I like to round things off. It makes me happy when things are even.


People keep asking me what I’m doing for my birthday. Well, I’m writing this here blog and reflecting, that’s what…and I’m baking some boozy cupcakes for myself. 


Don’t judge. 


Reflecting + booze cake has lead me to think back and take stock of some of the more important (and unimportant) things I’ve learned in the last decade. 
Since I’m the sharing type, you get to partake in the festivities. Enjoy 🙂

• Family is always there. Even when you think they aren’t, there they are. Ready to get all up in your business and tell you things you don’t want to hear. It’s what they do.  

• Friends come and go. It’s natural. People are busy and you really aren’t unimportant, you are well, just not at the top of their list. And that’s o.k.  If you have an issue with this, YOUR list probably needs to be a lot longer…just sayin’…

• It’s perfectly fine to cry for no reason. I cry at puppies on youtube and I own it. 

• Swear. A LOT.  It helps you relax. My favorite word starts with F. I use it as an adjective, noun, and verb. It really is quite handy when you have nothing left to say.

• Dress up. For no reason.  Get all spiffy and go outside or just sit on your couch and eat ice cream with a friend and laugh so hard, you don’t even make noises. You just gasp for air and turn red. Those are the best laughs 🙂 

• You can’t make anyone do anything they don’t want to. People don’t change until they decide to do so.  It’s a losing battle and a HUMONGOUS waste of time. I wasted my early 20’s on it. Trust me, it sucked.

• Children are kind of annoying. They drool on themselves, cry and scream for no good reason, ask for stuff when they don’t have jobs, and constantly want to eat things off the ground….but then they go and &  give you some terrible painting they did of you where your nose is on your forehead and those little bastards win you over every time.

• If you want unconditional love, go see your mom. She HAS to love you. I don’t.

• Hate someone.  Allow yourself to be hated.  Then get over it. Then allow yourself to forgive and be forgiven. It’s a wonderful feeling.

• Try new foods. Gross ones, smelly ones, and just plain nasty ones. Things that made you cringe 5 or 10 years ago may actually be pretty damn tasty now.  Example: tripe. Yes. Intestines. I will chew on your duodenum and I don’t care who knows it.

• Decide what you want and GO GET IT.  No one likes a wishy-washy-pipe-dreamer. It’s just annoying. Help me, help you….

• Fail. Miserably. At anything. More than once.  It builds character and proves to you that nothing can break you so bad that you can’t recover from it.

• And finally…surround yourself with good and good will come. I don’t know why this is true, but it seems to work. I’ve surrounded myself with good people, good food, good family, and good riddances.  

Happy Dirty Thirty to me & all my friends this year.
Let’s do this.


Peace, Love, and CupCake Grease,
Patti